You want to say Hi to the cute girl on the subway. How will she react? Fortunately, I can tell you with some certainty, because she’s already sending messages to you. Looking out the window, reading a book, working on a computer, arms folded across chest, body away from you = do not disturb. So, y’know, don’t disturb her. Really. Even to say that you like her hair, shoes, or book. A compliment is not always a reason for women to smile and say thank you. You are a threat, remember? You are Schrödinger’s Rapist. Don’t assume that whatever you have to say will win her over with charm or flattery. Believe what she’s signaling, and back off.
If you speak, and she responds in a monosyllabic way without looking at you, she’s saying, “I don’t want to be rude, but please leave me alone.” You don’t know why. It could be “Please leave me alone because I am trying to memorize Beowulf.” It could be “Please leave me alone because you are a scary, scary man with breath like a water buffalo.” It could be “Please leave me alone because I am planning my assassination of a major geopolitical figure and I will have to kill you if you are able to recognize me and blow my cover.”
On the other hand, if she is turned towards you, making eye contact, and she responds in a friendly and talkative manner when you speak to her, you are getting a green light. You can continue the conversation until you start getting signals to back off.
The fourth point: If you fail to respect what women say, you label yourself a problem.
There’s a man with whom I went out on a single date—afternoon coffee, for one hour by the clock—on July 25th. In the two days after the date, he sent me about fifteen e-mails, scolding me for non-responsiveness. I e-mailed him back, saying, “Look, this is a disproportionate response to a single date. You are making me uncomfortable. Do not contact me again.” It is now October 7th. Does he still e-mail?
Yeah. He does. About every two weeks.
This man scores higher on the threat level scale than Man with the Cockroach Tattoos. (Who, after all, is guilty of nothing more than terrifying bad taste.) You see, Mr. E-mail has made it clear that he ignores what I say when he wants something from me. Now, I don’t know if he is an actual rapist, and I sincerely hope he’s not. But he is certainly Schrödinger’s Rapist, and this particular Schrödinger’s Rapist has a probability ratio greater than one in sixty. Because a man who ignores a woman’s NO in a non-sexual setting is more likely to ignore NO in a sexual setting, as well.
So if you speak to a woman who is otherwise occupied, you’re sending a subtle message. It is that your desire to interact trumps her right to be left alone. If you pursue a conversation when she’s tried to cut it off, you send a message. It is that your desire to speak trumps her right to be left alone. And each of those messages indicates that you believe your desires are a legitimate reason to override her rights.
For women, who are watching you very closely to determine how much of a threat you are, this is an important piece of data.
an excerpt from Phaedra Starling’s “Schrödinger’s Rapist: or a guy’s guide to approaching strange women without being maced” (via lostgrrrls)
HOLY FUCK THE TRUTH.
Can every one of my male followers read this? And please, before you get defensive (“I would never rape anyone!”) keep in mind, women being afraid of Shrodinger’s Rapists (oh my god i still can’t get over the encompassing brilliance of this phrase) is a conditioned, learned response from being immersed in rape culture and the evolution of sexism and sexual violence in our society from the day we’re born. And unfortunately, it’s very difficult to unlearn without the efforts of all genders to dismantle it. Which is where you come in.
It’s also just rude and disrespectful to patently ignore what someone has told you regarding their personal space, body, and time. Get a clue.
I will always reblog this. Always.
So if you speak to a woman who is otherwise occupied, you’re sending a subtle message. It is that your desire to interact trumps her right to be left alone.
May not have gone to sleep when I should have but that’s the most relaxed I’ve been in forever.
I love my First Lady
Can you please tell her to tell her husband to stop killing muslims? Thanks
literally all she does is try to make the country “healthy” by giving students shitty school lunches like please do something else and help your husband fix the economy! *goes awf*
Imma need y’all to learn how the United States Government works. You don’t have to like her or the president but learn that they do not makes the decisions, they really do not have very much power, the president does not have the power to just snap his fingers and make shit happen or change things. You have to have 2/3 vote from congress to take a shit, let alone do anything having to do with government. The entire government was set up to make sure that exact thing could never happen, that is why there are 3 branches and that little thing called checks and balances.
In fact let me just break this down for y’all right here.
- President has 2 OFFICIAL jobs, Commander and Chief of the Armed Forces, but he only controls a limited amount of the funding for those troops (enough for 90 to 120 days) to engage these troops in combat. He CANNOT just declare war. only congress can declare war. The second, Accountant over the Federal Budget.
- He also is responsible for creating and balancing the national budget, but everything has to be approved by congress with a 2/3 vote.
- He signs bills into law, can veto them as well, however congress can override his veto.
- He assigns judges to the Supreme court, with the senates approval.
- He assigns foreign ambassadors, with the senates approval.
- he creates his own cabinet for people to research into areas that he might not have the time to, these are the only people who do not have to get approval from senate
- congress is made up of 535 people (100 senators 435 HoR) for any of them to come to 1 agreement has only happened once in the history of this country, and that was to go into WWII, and even that the house voted 434 to one (1st woman house of Representative she was from Maine too, she voted against WW1 and 2) and the judicial branch can call anything unconstitutional and kill it as well.
and if you think i’m lying you can literally google this shit in 2 seconds.
That tea is delicious
SAY THAT SHIT AGAIN!
I would love for people to remember this when they want to start blaming the president. Any president, though not all of them have had good ideas.
lemme get in here a sec.
The President needs a 2/3 vote in Congress to get practically anything done, right? Well currently, the 133th US Congress is split with 53 Democratic senators and 45 Republican senators and 201 Democratic representatives and 234 Republican representatives. That makes a pretty even split between the two major political parties. Ever since President Obama was elected into office, the Republicans have voted down every piece of legislation he’s attempted to pass, in an effort to pin him as the worst president in American history, so that they can go back to their white-washed elitist lives and keep all their hoarded money from the people. The President has been doing everything he can to change things, but he cannot do that without the approval of Congress. Remember that week-long shutdown we had? Yeah, that was because the Republicans weren’t getting exactly their way with the budget, so they decided to shut down the whole goddamn government until they got their way. The United States Government relies on compromise and agreement between the two parties, and we’re seriously lacking right now in that department.
So if you want to blame someone for our country’s issues, blame the goddamn Republicans for acting like tantrum-throwing two year olds.
Fucking THANK YOU!